Podcast Episodes

Lynn often uses the phrase “doing the disorder” to describe how well-meaning adults often end up aiding anxiety by doing exactly what it needs to remain in charge. In this episode, Ed and Lynn review this common trap, and describe how doing the disorder is also prevalent when dealing with physical symptoms and depression. And here is the 2023 episode Lynn references in today's conversation: Depression's Treatment And Prevention: A Series of Mic Drops with Dr. Michael Yapko WE'VE MADE PLAYLIST...

Lynn is joined by psychologist Dr. Ali Navidi who specializes in the brain gut connection. So many anxious kids have tummy aches and gastrointestinal symptoms. And sometimes an episode of food poisoning or the norovirus can set off an anxious spiral that turns chronic. Lynn and Ali talk about how to interrupt these patterns, their mutual love of pediatric hypnosis, and the myth that progress needs to be made slowly. Visit Ali's website: gipsychology.com WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO ...

Just in time for the holidays, we welcome psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish to talk about her new book: You, Your Husband, and His Mother: Create a Healthy Relationship with Your Mother-in-Law--and Your Spouse--in Five Simple Steps. Tracy gives us the keys to handling this tricky dynamic with the goal of connection. And Lynn (whose mother-in-law does not listen to the podcast) has fun role playing. And check out Tracy's podcast: Dear Dr. Tracy WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FI...

Human beings are judgy creatures. It’s part of being social animals. But want to guarantee conflict during the holidays? Start judging other family member’s parenting. Too much sugar for your cousin’s toddler? The horror! Not enough emotional expression allowed by your brother-in-law? Disappointing! Whether you are the judge or the judged (and we’re often both), shifting your approach during holiday gatherings will benefit everyone. Let’s talk strategy, reality, and talking at least 85% less. W...

Ed joins Lynn to first laugh (a lot) about their mutual fainting, and then discuss the negatives and positives of using distraction to deal with anxiety. Although distraction is routinely prescribed, Lynn sees what she calls “destructive distraction” as an increasingly common. Can distraction be helpful? And what do parents and clinicians need to know? WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For...

Data shows that teens are doing less of what teens are supposed to do. They are spending less time hanging out in person, going fewer places, delaying driving. Is it the fallout of the pandemic? Have changes in technology, parenting, and the focus on the future prevented our teens from connecting and learning what they need to mature? WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For those brand new t...

What’s the difference between an introvert, a socially anxious child, and a shy one? The terms are confusing and often overlap, but one of these is far less concerning than the others. It’s hard to watch a child be “alone,” but when should you step in to help? When is solitude healthy? WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For those brand new to the podcast, we suggest starting with this playl...

Parenting “styles” are all the rage. Gentle, eggshell, snowplow, concierge…and more! Robin and Lynn wade into the jargon, the benefits, and—of course—the ridiculous. WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For those brand new to the podcast, we suggest starting with this playlist featuring Lynn Lyons and the 7-part anxiety disruptor series as well as a 3-part series on the skills most helpful in...

Lynn is big on families knowing how worry and anxiety work. If we’re going to ask kids and parents to take an approach that is the OPPOSITE of what feels comfortable, they need to understand the rationale. But what happens when — despite explaining and externalizing and talking to worry— a child insists it is NOT worry? What are parents to do with explosions and refusal and demands about bedtime or school attendance or separating when their efforts to address the anxiety are met with: “Nope! Tha...

What do you do when your child starts missing too many days of school? In this episode, Lynn and Robin address a mom’s question about her middle schooler who wants to stay home. Does she give consequences? How does she work with the school? What happens when home is more “cozy” or interesting than school? And have expectations around opting out of school changed since the pandemic? (Spoiler alert: yes, they have.) WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPIC...

The research is clear: when children (and adults) contribute in a useful way, their confidence, autonomy, and self-efficacy improve. Mood gets better, too, which is why volunteering helps with depression. Do your kids contribute? We’ll talk about how to make it happen…and what gets in the way. WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For those brand new to the podcast, we suggest starting with th...

This episode tackles a few listener questions that we think are relatable to many. First, how do you work on increasing your rigid child’s frustration tolerance? And another mom wants a list of phrases to use in addition to “You can handle it!” Lynn offers a little variety, but as Robin points out, getting bored with worry’s tactics is actually the point! Here are the past episodes that Lynn references in this week's show: https://www.flusterclux.com/when-your-kid-is-a-blamer/ & https://www.f...

Dr. Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego University, has been a consistent voice of warning on the impact of smartphones and social media on children and teens. Her latest book, 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World, compiles over a decade of research into solid guidance that she and Lynn walk listeners through. She’s a mom to three teen girls and an all-around delightful person. Find Jean's book here: https://www.jeantwenge.com/10-rules-for-raising-kids-in-a-high-tech-w...

Parents consistently ask Lynn for the language to use with their children and teens when the family is moving away from avoidance and accommodation. In this episode, Lynn provides a list of four key phrases and conversation starters that help navigate a shift into action. WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For those brand new to the podcast, we suggest starting with this playlist featuring ...

Manners and social skills are important for some basic reasons: we want our children to learn how to move through the world with decency and respect. But in this episode, Robin and Lynn go deeper, talking about manners and etiquette as a potential bridge to kindness and connection. Oh, and there’s some crying. WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For those brand new to the podcast, we suggest...

Mary is looking for help with her 13year old daughter Reese who was Diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety in third grade. Successes are many, but after years of individual therapy, Mary wonders what tools Reese is learning. Mary wants this middle schooler to sleep in her own bed, something she hasn’t done for years. Dad is relegated to the couch. Both parents need a plan and some solid coaching. They know it’s important to support Reese’s independence, but they’re avoiding conflict…and the family is s...

Struggle is a vital part of learning, growing and mastery. As the new school year begins, Lynn and Ed discuss the movement from awkward and uncomfortable beginnings toward mastery, a process that is repeated throughout life. How can parents tolerate, support and even foster struggle as a key skill? WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For those brand new to the podcast, we suggest starting wi...

Is your child heading off to college this fall? If it’s their first year, then the roommate uncertainty may be dominating your household. Sparked by a compelling listener question, we tackle the perks and the problems of roommates and what you can (and can’t) do to help. Here is the past episode that Lynn & Robin reference regarding preparing your children for college: https://www.flusterclux.com/raising-kids-who-are-really-ready-for-college-isnt-what-you-think/ WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPI...

Here comes school…which means it’s time for reminders and a chance for a reset. From morning routines to screens, from the language of uncertainty to using less language in general, we cover it all. So, go for a walk with Lynn and Robin and hear how to actively move into fall! WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For those brand new to the podcast, we suggest starting with this playlist featu...

In this In Session episode, Lynn talks with Sarah about her 11-year-old daughter who has become increasingly insistent about her bedtime ritual of ruminating and catastrophizing. Sarah gets pulled in, trying to “talk through” her daughter’s worries and doubts, but it’s only getting worse. What does Sarah need to do to break out of this pattern? WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For those b...

Parents are encouraged to provide “consistency” with their anxious children. But the type of consistency that’s often prescribed is the opposite of what Lynn teaches families. In this episode, Lynn goes after the “consistency trap” and explains the important difference between working to give your child certainty & predictability vs. consistently helping your child move to develop key anxiety-management skills. WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. ...

Sam and Vincent are struggling with the rigidity and bossiness of their six-year-old daughter, Jody. They’ve made great strides with her separation anxiety, but during playdates (and many other times, as well) Jody needs things to go her way. Mom’s discomfort with Jody’s distress and Dad’s similar temperament are targets we need to address! WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here⁠ For those brand...

What happens when children are the absolute focus of a family? Marriages suffer, says Michele Weiner-Davis, a renowned relationship expert who pulls couples back from the brink. We asked Michele to bust some couples myths and set us straight. Boy, she knows her stuff. Books by Michelle Weiner-Davis: Divorce Busting, The Divorce Remedy, Healing from Infidelity, The Sex-Starved Marriage, The Sex-Starved Wife. The Sex-Starved Marriage, a Ted Talk by Michelle Weiner-Davis. WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF...

Do your kids bicker? Teaching kids how to manage conflict both with friends and siblings is important…and exhausting! In this episode, Lynn describes how to determine when to step in and when to let them problem solve. Here are the two past episodes that Lynn references in today's show: https://www.flusterclux.com/how-to-find-a-good-child-therapist-for-your-kids-anxiety/ https://www.flusterclux.com/how-to-help-your-child-with-friendships-and-likability/ WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES T...