Podcast Episodes

When some children make mistakes or get overwhelmed, they jump quickly to self criticism and even self hate: “I’m terrible! I suck! You don’t love me!” What does this mean? Is it a red flag? And how should parents react? In this recast of a popular Season 4 episode, Lynn discusses the traps to avoid and the family skills to promote when this dramatic pattern takes hold. Referenced in this episode: Past Episode: Helping Kids With Shame & Self-Harm  NEW! WE'RE MAKING PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO ...

Helping an anxious student requires a strong collaboration between families and schools, but so often meetings to create a plan become adversarial. In this re-cast of a previous episode, Lynn (who routinely attends such meetings) offers her key tips for how parents and schools can work together to support a child and teach the needed skills, minus the conflict and blaming. We also answer a question from a shy mom entering a new school environment. She’s socially anxious but wants to do the best ...

Is your child heading off to college this fall? If it’s their first year, then the roommate uncertainty may be dominating your household. Sparked by a compelling listener question, we tackle the perks and the problems of roommates and what you can (and can’t) do to help. NEW! WE'RE MAKING PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here For those brand new to the podcast, we suggest starting with this playlist featuri...

In this recast of a popular earlier episode, Lynn breaks down one of her favorite instructions to parents: talk 85% less. When parents are worried, they tend to talk a lot. When they want something done and their child isn't doing it, they talk even more. Learn how asking the right questions and staying quiet can be one of the most helpful thing you can do for an anxious child or teen. We also answer a listener question about the difference between anxiety, worry and stress. NEW! WE'RE MAKING PL...

When children are hesitant or afraid of something, they often avoid, refuse, or even explode. The good news? You can work with your child on your own using the principles of exposure therapy, role playing and front loading. Here’s your DIY plan for stepping in and developing more resilience. BROWSE OUR PLAYLISTS BY TOPIC TO DIG DEEPER We're excited to launch topical playlists so that you can have all episodes on topics like teens, OCD, school or depression all in one easy playlist. We have a pl...

Lynn will tell you that there’s no harder adult to work with in her practice than someone who reflexively blames. The ability to own your part, take responsibility for your “stuff” is key to relationships. In this episode we talk blaming: what’s normal developmentally, how it shows up with rigidity, and how to help break that pattern in your family. NEW! WE'RE MAKING PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here Fo...

How do you feel about birthday parties? Is this just another place for parents to compete? Are they actually fun? One dad told us the whole industry needs an overhaul. We weigh in! REGISTER FOR THE ANXIETY AUDIT BOOK CLUB THIS SUMMER Join Lynn and Robin this summer in a book club for three! Read Lynn's latest book, The Anxiety Audit , and then watch our video discussion chapter by chapter. On July 27th, we'll host a live Q&A to answer your questions. Register now! VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL ...

Being a “people pleaser” is often reinforced in our culture. Who doesn’t want to be seen as kind, unselfish, and giving? But this pattern has a dark side, resulting in resentment, avoidance, and exhaustion. In this episode, we talk about the traps of "people pleasing" and how to recognize this pattern in yourself and prevent it in your kids. NEED JULY ADS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we are re-sharing a Season 3 episode we consider one of our most important: Dads, Depression and Anxiety. So often, moms assume the role of supporting both a family’s health and mental health, but dads have a critical role to play, too. What is that role? And how do you encourage your partner to step into that role? When a man is unsure of how to talk about emotions with his children, what should he say? What if he doesn’t want to talk about them with anyone? In this episode, we get raw a...

What’s happens when kids don’t play independently, exploring and problem solving away from direct adult supervision? A new study looks at the the impact of decreasing opportunities for independent play and autonomy and the messages of danger that guide parenting. Combine this research with the announcement of Apple’s new feature called CheckIn, and we had some thought. Boy, did we have thoughts. REGISTER FOR THE ANXIETY AUDIT BOOK CLUB THIS SUMMER Join Lynn and Robin this summer in a book club f...

While some kids seem to be naturally socially adept, most need help with the many nuances of interaction, from empathy to assertiveness to patience. As always, modeling matters but sometimes being direct is the way to go. In this episode we dive into the sometimes murky waters of helping our children with social behavior. REGISTER FOR THE ANXIETY AUDIT BOOK CLUB THIS SUMMER Join Lynn and Robin this summer in a book club for three! Read Lynn's latest book, The Anxiety Audit , and then watch our v...

Kids ask questions and parents provide information. That’s a normal part of growing and learning. But there’s a common anxiety pattern called reassurance seeking, where worriers ask and ask, seeking certainty and constant guarantees. Adults often participate, believing that offering reassurance is helpful. In this episode we discuss how to tell the difference between curiosity, helpful information, and anxiety-strengthening behaviors. REGISTER FOR THE ANXIETY AUDIT BOOK CLUB THIS SUMMER Join Lyn...

In this Flusterclux In Session episode, Lynn talks with a mom whose six year-old daughter struggles with separation anxiety: going to bed for the night, attending swimming lessons, or even mom being on a separate floor in the house can trigger big reactions. Lynn offers concrete solutions, including how to best interact with her daughter’s teachers on this matter, as well as, the best path forward to help her child live with life‘s tricky moments and uncertainties as she continues to grow. REGIS...

We're ready to kick off summer! But family worries unfortunately don't always take a vacation. So, today, we reshare our episode on summer camp and separation anxiety. You'll find this episode's advice relevant for a variety of situations, from new day camps, to sending kids off to college in the fall. How can we best prepare our kids to leave home for somewhere new? How can we manage our worry when our kids are out of our sight and why is it so important to learn this skill as a parent? Also, a...

So Lynn fell on a staircase and broke her back in two places recently. She will make a full recovery, but how did she manage in a crisis? Did she go catastrophic? Hello, uncertainty! How did our resident anxiety expert manage a real life flustercluck under pressure and what does she want to share from this? For the Season 1 episode that Robin references, please click here . VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Now’s the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/f...

In this consultation with a listener's family, Lynn talks to a mom, dad, and their high school junior who would enjoy staying in his room most of the summer. Lynn helps identify the skill most teens need to strengthen — the skill of doing something you don't really want to do (and how it applies to getting a first job, applying to college, or completing schoolwork). Most parents will find this a very relatable episode about teens learning to motivate themselves to move forward despite some disco...

When we remember that anxiety demands certainty and is a creator of doubt, it makes sense that decision-making can become a problem. What if I make the wrong choice? How do I decide between two good options? How will I know I’m choosing correctly? In this episode, we talk worry, decisions, and the skills we can teach our kids to keep them moving, whether they are picking out which t-shirt to wear in the morning or which college to choose. VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Now’s ...

In Part 2 of our discussion on loneliness, we focus on adults. Making friends in adulthood feels risky. If you are at all anxious or introverted, vulnerability and rejection hardly seem worth it. But connection is possible once we dispel some limiting beliefs. VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Now’s the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day...

Loneliness is a deep longing for connection that you can’t find and is more prevalent in young people than old. In this first of a two-part discussion, we address the painful and prevalent disconnection in our children and what matters as we help them with relationships. VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Now’s the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up ...

School avoidance is not new but parents and schools report more frequent and intense struggles. Did the pandemic make it worse? Are there risk factors that parents need to pay attention to? This week: what can parents do when their child avoids school? VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Now’s the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Go to LuvBuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free tr...

Launch date: 4-7-23

In this episode we answer listener questions from three different families with five year olds about handling big emotions and fears. Rigidity, disappointment, tantrums, new schools…issues that most parents of all kids will encounter! And, we have a conversation on those red flags that might lead you to consider a new therapist. VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order and a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thrive...

Don’t we all want to raise problem-solvers? Today we are recasting one of our most popular episodes in which we break down specific steps that parents can put into practice. We must give our kids the practice of creating solutions and not fixing things for them. This episode also wraps up the third of a previously-released three-part series on the principal skills that children need for a strong foundation in mental health (along with flexibility and autonomy). We encourage you to check out thes...

Positive connection is the goal, but is there such a thing as too connected? Yup, and it’s called enmeshment. In this episode, Lynn and Robin talk privacy, autonomy, and boundaries. If your goal is to be “best friends” with your child, have a listen. VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order and a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux . Get $1.39 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com/podcast a...