April 9, 2020

Stuck-In-Home Parenting

Stuck-In-Home Parenting

We have a new category of parenting, the stuck-in-the-house parent. Anxiety expert Lynn Lyons explains why we feel like we are riding a new emotional rollercoaster, and why we feel so exhausted, as our brains are working overtime to absorb our new world conditions. Full transcript available on our website.

0:05 THE STUCK-IN-THE-HOUSE PARENT

We’ve got stay-at-home parents; we’ve got working full-time parents. We have entered into a new category of parenting. This is the stuck-in-the-house parent.

This is our first episode ofA Mom’s Retreat podcast with Lynn Lyons (my sister-in-law). This podcast has stepped in to take the place of in person parenting retreats we began in the fall.

Lynn explains why we feel like we are riding a new emotional rollercoaster, and why we feel so exhausted, as our brains are working overtime to absorb our new life conditions. She compares this time’s mental and emotional drain to having a newborn at home for the first time.

3:27 CATASTROPHIC LANGUAGE 

Lynn asks that we pay attention to the undeniable anxiety we feel and to avoid patterns of catastrophic language in front of our children.

4:47 DAVID BARLOW 

She references David Barlow who defined anxiety as an overestimation of a problem and an underestimation of your resources to deal with it but shares we are in the opposite of an underestimation of the problem with an overestimation of our resources.

6:13 CATASTROPHIC PARENTING

Lynn validates that we have reason to be worried. We have reason to feel uncertain, we have reason to feel as if we’re off our kilter a little bit.

Lynn gives guidance on communicating uncertainty reasonably and catastrophically with our children.

8:09 KEEPING YOUR COOL AND THE POWER OF SILLINESS 

Lynn talks about taking a reset or a reboot. She explains what she means be learning to be vanilla ice cream for your kids.

Silliness and doing things that are unexpected are a great way to shift the emotional tone in your family. Lynn gives examples of how consciously injecting play can rebalance both parents and comfort children and gives examples how.

Lynn talks about her own childhood memories of her parents doing the twist in the kitchen to At the Hop albums.

15:15 SLOWING DOWN IN SOCIAL DISTANCING 

We talk about the gifts that can come from this chapter with more time together at home when children’s schedules are lighter. Lynn encourages us to fill this time as a family with more play in a way that doesn’t feel like an additional chore for parents.

Lynn’s book Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents has several examples at the end of every chapter of ways to be silly, inject surprise, and make family time more playful as a practice.

She discusses the power of external connection among our family and friends to stave of the anxious and depressive patterns we are vulnerable to right now by stating in an internal state.

18:06 OUTRO

So, thanks for joining us on this first episode of A Mom’s Retreat. You are not alone in this. Join us next episode as we discuss the milestones we are missing.

We are all in this together. The purpose of this is for us to feel connected, validated, and supported.

Robin

Producer of A Mom’s Retreat

A full transcript is available on our website.

Our show music is “First Little Steps” by Peter McIsaac.

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